Television Wars
by Skoellya Seyth
Summary: A young Dick Grayson is trying to watch some cheesy, but easygoing television. Bruce is being annoying, and keeps interrupting his ward. Please R & R


**This is sort of based on what my Dad does when I watch Smallville. He doesn't like it (hey, ok, the acting may be a _little_ cheesy, I admit it…) so he spends the entire time when I watch it either taking the Mickey out of the actor's lines or pointing out Superhero comic's idiocies (He still can't get over the fact of Clark's glasses are his disguise…) and laughing at me as I get offended, as well as some of the following. Mind you, Smallville wasn't as bad as today when I was watching the weirdest episode of Lois and Clark _ever_… it was just really, _really odd_. **

**I thought the incident might be easily transferable to a Dick / Bruce moment so… here I am! This is a young Dick and more towards the Golden Age versions so Bruce isn't a grumpy old man yet (the main point being- he can laugh or smile! So no complaining about that part, ok) **

**Disclaimer: I have a headache and a cold, and am way too tired to say 'no characters belong to me' in any other way. Bleah.

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Dick was watching a sci-fi program on television, curled up on the closest edge of the sofa, as he still couldn't get used to the scale of the manor, with his head resting on his hand and a drink provided by Alfred in the other. It was rare he got time like this to relax, his work with school, the titans and Bruce demanded such resources from him. Alfred ended up scheduling times he could watch programs he liked into the time table so he wouldn't get distracted.

Usually at times like these Batman would be working on something for the Justice League, or a case he thought was unsuitable for Dick to work with (usually the most gruesome and heinous crimes Gotham had to offer) but today Bruce had come up to the manor to grab a snack, hopefully without Alfred noticing, and he had been vaguely wondering what his ward was up to.

Remaining as stealthy as possible, Bruce crept to next to the arm of the sofa where Dick's head was resting and waited there pretending to watch the show. It took him several moments to process there was someone next to him, and Dick turned his head blinked once, looked back to the screen before starting and glaring at his guardian, whose smirking face was inches from his own.

Bruce chuckled lightly at Dick's incredulous expression and sat down on the other end of the sofa Dick was on. His ward watched him sceptically for a few moments before muttering 'don't change the channel.'

Bruce took in just what garbage the child was watching and sighed. He wouldn't change the channel, even though in his personal opinion the quality was dreadful, but his mind lit up with an idea as he caught sight of the television controls next to him.

Dick was suspicious and not afraid to admit it, it seemed paranoia was part of Batman's training regime or as he like to call it "constant vigilance". He had learned very quickly what Bruce could be like when it came to television, he had no tolerance for any of the shows they showed at all, save the news. However being a playboy billionaire he had several of them in various rooms across the manor, as well as the Bat-Computer in the cave doubling up as one. Much to Bruce's chagrin when Dick had wanted to watch the Simpsons, but Alfred would intervene before Dick had an ear chewed off.

He was enjoying the program. Dick thought there was nothing wrong with the ideas on the show, it had just been low budgeted so the effects were worse than they might have been, it didn't help it was several years old already. So the actors happened to have that clean cut, young model type of facade and could only pull off two looks, surprised and concerned… but it had a niche in the market for those times when you just wanted some pleasant, easy to watch material.

That was until Bruce got hold of the button that flicked the screen between widescreen and letterbox view.

Discreetly hiding the television controls under his arm he tapped the button so it caused the screen to flicker between the two every second or so, making it immensely distracting to the young boy. He couldn't even hear the television over Bruce's muted laughter at his expense.

After making the situation worse as Bruce caught the riled glare Dick sent his way, the boy made a lunge for the controls only to find Bruce holding them easily out of reach. Fuming even more, Dick placed his drink on the floor, and the flying Grayson made use of heritage to execute a perfect flip to snatch the controls, which he succeeded in doing until Bruce grabbed him by the scruff of the neck. Struggling for a few moments Dick gave up it wasn't like he could beat Batman… unfortunately.

As Bruce set him back down on his lap, ignoring the boy's venomous glares he turned his attention back to the screen and grinned satisfactorily. The show had ended in all the commotion.

Alas, it seemed Dick had noticed too, which was when Bruce found himself being whacked in the face by a cushion.

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**Obviously I'm not an acrobat, and I'm older and a girl... but my Dad did do the letterbox / widescreen thing, though, and I did get annoyed when the show ended… sigh… well hope you enjoy, please review and let me know what you think. **

**Hey, the divider lines are working again! About time...**


End file.
